Relationships: A Mess Worth Making, Quote 02
People in the middle usually discover that more work is involved than they ever expected. It is hard to hold onto the dream, and very often expectation becomes the desire to simply survive. Amidst the hard work, it is difficult to keep your standards high and your hope alive. You are tempted to settle and compromise. In the middle, thankfulness often degrades into complaint, and hope decays into resignation. It is hard to live in the middle of something, but that is exactly where all of our relationships take place.
Relationships: A Mess Worth Making, Quote 01
I just started Relationships: A Mess Worthy Making, by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp. I was left spinning and asking Jesus for help already. One quote struck so hard I thought I would share it before finishing the book. Here it is:
The most dangerous aspect of your relationships is not your weakness, but your delusions of strength. Self-reliance is almost always a component of a bad relationship.
Time for me to keep asking Jesus to break me.
changing a city with average folks
I am in a posting mood today, I guess. I just was slammed by Larry Osborne’s article on average people. It is worth the read and heart-examination for any spiritual leaders out there. In the past few weeks, I have been repeatedly asking Jesus to show me the blind-spots in my character, the defects that I am certain just aren’t there, you know? I am thinking this article might be part of God’s answer to that prayer. We’ll see.
Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave, by Ed Welch, #01
Over the past few months I have been reading through books that teach on sin. It all began with Ed Welch’s Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave. I had originally purchased the book a couple of years ago, but only recently read it – due to some recent circumstances in my family’s life. My first reason for reading the book was to understand and identify with what some friends of mine are going through. But as I read through the book, I found myself repeatedly asking God for mercy…for me! It did help me to understand my family and friends, but the Holy Spirit was also quite pleased to illuminate sin, sinful patterns, and sinful roots in my own life. By the end, I was actually enjoying the primer on sin and the expose on my sin. I will start at the beginning, though, and see if I make it through. The first parts deal more with definitions than practical application, but it it essential.
“As used in this book, addiction will be used to describe certain experiences and behaviors. At least initially, I will try to distinguish descriptions of behavior from explanations for behavior. …What is a description of addictions? How do addicts feel? Addicts feel as if they are trapped and out of control. …They feel desperate hunger and thrist for something. They feel like they can’t let go, clinging even when the addictive behavior yields very few pleasures and a great deal of pain. They feel like they are in bondage. Addicts fell out of control, enslaved, stuck, and without hope for freedom or escape. Something or someone other than the living God controls them, and the controlling object tells them how to live, think, and feel” (pp. 11-12).
When focusing on his particular subject matter, Welch explains, “What unites these and most other activities or substances described as addictions is that they deliver a bodily experience. With them we feel more alert, more calm, less shy, or more powerful. Furthermore, most addictions change our physical experience and they do it quickly, working within seconds or minutes rather than days or weeks” (p. 13).
Ed does an excellent job of building a solid understanding of sin, not giving in to the easy out of saying that an addiction is merely a sickness. Along those lines, he highlights that, “to ignore something wrong in ourselves would be to practice self-deception, and this, especially when we talk about addictions, is exactly what we want to avoid” (p. 20). Furthermore, on sin he says, “Sin is ultimately against God. It is any failure to conform to the law of God in either action or attitude. [Many addicts] have no awareness that what they are doing has anything to do with God. The problem, they believe, is simply within themselves. It is neither against God nor others. …[Scripture] teaches that we sin much more than we think, and it teaches that sin is our primary problem (p. 20).
Welch moves on to build his argument that the Bible actually has a lot to say about addictions. The many Scripture passages related to drunkenness apply strongly to all addictions. He sees drunkenness as a prototype for other addictions. After sharing multiple texts about the effects of drunkenness, he answers a probable question: “But this accumulation of proof texts [on the sinfulness and negative effects of drunkenness] is not persuasive to everyone. ‘You are talking about drunkenness, I am talking about alcoholism. Alcoholism is a disease. The alcoholic has a disease, not a moral flaw, and the only hope is never to take that first drink again.’ The way we respond to this dilemma makes a huge difference in our own victory over addictions and in helping other gain victory over addictions. More than drunkenness is in view: also think of pornographic/sexual addictions, anorexia, bulemia, food addictions, relational co-dependencies, addictions to spending money, and many others. So Welch answers the questions carefully: “Is there a difference between a drunkard [as the Bible would view him/her] and an alcoholic [who would claim it is just a disease]? Scientifically, no. There are no medical tests or brain scans that distinguish them, and their behaviors are identical. Both terms refer to those who have been repeatedly intoxicated and show a loss of self-control with alcohol. The main difference is that drunkard is an old-fashioned word and alcoholic is a more recent word…” (pp. 24-25).
But still other might have push-backs even on this. (And I want to linger here because it seems to me that the relevance of the Bible is at stake here, and, therefore, a massively important argument to understand.) Even if someone agrees with Welch’s statements above, they might still say that “loss of control” is the primary issue, that is, “an addict is helpless before alcohol in the same way that a sick person is helpless before an invading disease.“ This is the crux of the disease-understanding of addictions. And this is precisely what Welch is urging his readers to not buy into. He goes on to explain: “In other words, how can we suggest that something is sin when we didn’t choose to do it? …The majority opinion [is that] if we do something wrong and we do it purposefully, self-consciously, and in control, then it is sin. If we do something that might be considered wrong, but we do it without apparent intent or even in spite of our intent, then it is a disease. Therefore, drunkenness, heavy drinking, or alcoholism – whatever we call it – is a disease.” (If you stick with me, I really think this will be helpful.) “The theological dilemma is this: how do we reconcile the out-of-control nature of addictions and the apparently self-concious, intentional nature of sin?” Welch maintains that disease-explanations are not sufficient. They’re just not comprehensive. Instead, he says, “The cravings and desires at the core of the addictive experience are not quite the same as an invading virus. If you catch a virus, you have no choice. You don’t want it, and you would be glad to be rid of it. Heavy drinking [and other addictions], however, doesn’t just happen to us. Instead, the drinker feels there are payoffs – however temporary – to drunkenness [or giving in to whatever addiction they may have]. …In other words, addicts make choices to pursue their addiction. …Their drinking is purposeful. …This is not to deny either the feeling or the reality of being taken captive by an addictive substance or behavior. It is just to say that, for the addict, slavery with the object of desire is sometimes preferable to freedom without it” (pp. 25-27).
That last line is huge. Slavery to the addictive substance or behavior is preferable to freedom without the addictive substance or behavior. The addict has chosen, is choosing, and keeps on choosing.
Don Carson on Making Sense of Suffering
I had the immense blessing of attending a one-day conference this past Saturday (Octber 4, 2008) at Omaha Bible Church. They hosted Don Carson who spoke on the subject of “Making Sense of Suffering.” What he shared was incredibly helpful. It was helpful because he remained faithful to Scripture. He didn’t stick labels on things, and he didn’t worry about staying in boxes. He just shared the Scriptures. It was also helpful because he seemed to take multiple pieces of the suffering-puzzle and actually put them together. I would highly recommend listening to the audio. Here it is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. And here are a few notes I jotted down.
To make sense of suffering we need to establish 6 pillars upon which the foundation of “making sense of suffering” would be placed. These 6 pillars are not the end-all, be-all of understanding suffering, but they are absolutely essential.
1. Insight from the beginning of the Bible’s storyline, especially Creation and the Fall. You absolutely must listen to the audio on this (in Part 1). The tag line sounds way to mean if you don’t hear the audio. Put simply: God doesn’t owe us anything; we are a damned breed, by nature and by choice.
SCRIPTURE NOTES: From Genesis 3: The serpent was made by God. Genesis 3:1: Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. Furthermore, the first doctrine that was attacked by the serpent was the doctrine of judgment. (I had never thought of this!) Genesis 3:4: But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.” This directly denies that judgment God had given them.
2. Insights from the end of the Bible’s storyline. Here (on earth, in this age) there is no utopia. When considering suffering, often our horizons are just too small and too earthly. In this part, Carson particularly recommended CS Lewis’ Learning in Wartime (pdf).
3. Insights from the place of “innocent” suffering. The focus here was Job. Simply put: often we do not see the justice of our suffering.
SCRIPTURE NOTES: After God’s rebuke of Job, Job’s response is not just that he learned something more. Job’s response was completed by repentance. Job 42:6: Therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes. Furthermore, Carson said that Job 42 (the last chapter in Job) is the OT version of Revelation – that, in the end, God does triumph. In the end everything is not up for grabs. In the end God’s mercy and kindness triumphs. The righteous are restored. Justice is served.
4. Insights from the “mystery of providence.” Or in other words, God is fully and utterly sovereign, yet not in a way that mitigates human responsibility…and…humans are significant and responsible in their actions, yet not in a way that mitigates God’s full sovereignty. This section was mind-blowing as Carson walked us through three texts that highlight this paradox.
SCRIPTURE NOTES: Isaiah 10:5-15 was remarkable. To paraphrase Carson’s response to this text: “God stands behind both good and evil. But he stands behind them differently. He stands behind good in such a way that it is traceable back to Him for His glory. He stands behind evil in such a way that it never escapes the bounds of his sovereignty, but he is not responsible for it; instead the secondary causes (such as Assyria in Isaiah 10) are responsible for it.” He then said he has always thought that sure sounds convenient for God, but that is how God has revealed himself, whether Don Carson likes it or not.
OTHER SCRIPTURE NOTES: Genesis 50:19-21: Both God and the brothers of Joseph intended the same thing. Acts 4:27-28: The crucifixion of Jesus was both predestined by God and responsibly carried out by the rulers and murderers who did it with their own hands.
5. Insights from the centrality of the incarnation, cross, and resurrection. In short, read Romans 8:31-32.
6. Insights from what it means to take up our cross, and, thus, from the persecuted global church. I left this part thinking, “Wow, I neglect and forget my brothers’ and sisters’ triumph of faith when I consider my trivial sufferings and headaches and slow drivers.” In this section, Carson particularly recommended Killing Fields, Living Fields by Don Cormack.
Carson closed by reminding us that these truths are primarily pre-emptive. They would be dangerous and even hurtful or painful if they are thrown at a person in the middle of their tragic suffering. The time for sharing these truths must be discerned well. Other times, it best to simply “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).
modern day slavery is a booming industry
In the past I have mentioned slavery in a couple of posts (Against Israel: Their Sins, Part 02 and Take Away From Leadership Summit, Day 01). In both of those posts I recommended Not For Sale by David Batstone.
This morning I noticed John Piper posted about slavery in Haiti, which is an area Batstone did not address. In the post, Piper points to another great resource concerning modern day slavery: A Crime So Monstrous.
May God grant that slavery might come to an end in Haiti because of the loving Gospel of Jesus changing hearts and lives throughout the nation.
Alexander Strauch’s Biblical Eldership
I am grateful to God for Alexander Strauch’s work, Biblical Eldership. As I have read the book, there have been many moments of God working in my heart, highlighting his truths, deepening my convictions about church leadership, and opening my eyes to brand new light. I have really enjoyed the book. I will highlight three gifts God has given me through this book. There are many others, but I want to at least share three of them.
The first thought that has challenged me most is this: being a pastor means being a shepherd. I have had two different experiences with church leadership. In the first, being a pastor meant being a director or administrator or CEO. In the second, being a pastor meant being a leader who reports to the shepherds. Strauch showed me a third way: being a pastor means being a shepherd. Yes, there are elements of administrating, executing decisions, establishing goals and policies, gathering, directing, and others. But through all those and above all those is shepherding.
Strauch pulls this imagery straight from Scripture. Psalm 23:1-2 portrays Yahweh as our shepherd. In Ezekiel 34 God casts the spiritual leaders of his people as shepherds, drawing incredible parallels. When Paul gathers the pastors of Ephesus, he uses the images of caring for the flock, keeping out the wolves, and being alert, all of which are shepherds’ tasks (Acts 20:28-31). When Peter addresses the elders, his first exhortation is to shepherd the flock of God, and he points to Jesus, our example, as the Chief Shepherd (1 Peter 5:1-4).
What does a shepherd do? That was the question I had in my mind. Strauch pointed to four functions of shepherding, all of which I found very helpful. (1) A shepherd protects the flock (page 17). (2) A shepherd feeds the flock (page 22). (3) A shepherd leads the flock (page 25). (4) A shepherd cares for the practical needs of the flock (page 29). Each of these four functions are full of guidance from the Scriptures and meaning from real-life shepherding.
The second weight that I have felt throughout Strauch’s book is just that: weight. The desire to be an elder-pastor should be fully met with the weight and responsibility of that role. This is no small matter; this is no light consideration. For years now, I have loved the idea of serving a church in this way. Now that I am on the verge of it, I am feeling the weight of it. Scripture, as Strauch points out, makes the weight very clear. James 3:1 is just the beginning: Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.
Again, Paul’s urgings to the Ephesians elders stands tall in this area. Before he gives them their charge, he examines his own. And he examines his own charge and calling in very weighty, almost scary terms in Acts 20:26-27: Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all of you, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God. Those are the words of a man who knows he is accountable for his work. He has a clear course and ministry (Acts 20:24) in mind that he had to finish. It wasn’t a drifting, a trying-something-out, a let’s-give-it-a-shot type of deal. It was his life and breath. He felt the weight of the calling.
As I was feeling this weight throughout the book, I thought I had tasted it enough. Then Strauch referred to Ezekiel 3:18-19: If I say to the wicked, “You shall surely die,” and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul. Thank God for Jesus Christ! But at the same time I see the weight that is given to shepherd-leaders, to prophet-leaders, to teacher-leaders among God’s people. As I read this passage I remember similar passages from God’s law early in the Scriptures. This wasn’t a one-time, random interjection from God. It was a real and stern warning to the watchmen of God’s people. Thus I have began to start feeling the weight of a watchman a little more.
Based on all of this, I hope to follow Strauch’s wisdom when he says, “…a wise individual will never rush into leadership. The knowledge that a leader must give an account to God should greatly affect the leader’s quality of spiritual leadership” (page 272).
One other gift I will mention from reading Strauch’s book is the realization of the overflowing need to disciple men. When a church doesn’t have elders, it is not first because they have bad structure. When a church doesn’t have elders, it flagrantly points to the fact that the leaders of that church have not discipled men. No man is born an elder. There is no magic potion to transition a man from a beginning Christian to a steadfast, spiritual leader like an elder. It takes time, heart work, hard work, patience, commitment, authority, transparency, and so many other things.
Over the years, I have personally loved mentoring and discipling men, but after reading Strauch’s book I realize I have so far to go. Discipling men for eldership is a difficult task, a totally different task than just basic discipleship. It is more than just equipping a man to love his family, even. As always 2 Timothy 2:2 rings out: And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. That is no easy task (which points back to the weight I mentioned earlier).
One quote that stands out is Strauch’s quote of Bruce Stabbert. He says, “Somebody is going to have to disciple some men. We may not have much more than a bunch of fishermen in our congregation, but they should be discipled. Someone must spend time with them. Someone must teach them. Someone must pray with them and for them. But they can be discipled!” It is much easier to say they should do it on their own. It is easier to ask some other pastor to do it for me. It is easier to cop out and just pass books their way when they are in desperation. It is much more difficult to consistently engage in the years-long, slow-change transformation that Jesus did with his men. May God grant me the grace to walk that road with many, many men in the years to come.
There are other texts that point to discipleship as much more than mere reading of good books (though that is essential and helpful, too). Hebrews 13:7 commands followers to imitate [their leaders’] faith. Followers aren’t commanded to read about it, listen to a sermon about it, write about it, or think about it. They are commanded to imitate their leaders’ faith. There is just as much weight on the leader to be connected in to men enough to be imitated as there is weight on followers to catch and respond to their leaders’ faith.
Jesus’ entire life and initial call of his disciples also rings true. “Follow me,” Jesus said in Matthew 4:19. And they did as Matthew 4:20 shows. They kept following him, and following him, and following him. All the way through three years, they followed him! It wasn’t a 6-week book study or a 12-week intensive or a 1-week camp. This was full-life discipleship. And I need a lot of grace from God to live this way with other men. I thank God for men like Alexander Strauch who call us to this way of living, who paint this picture for us in words.
So, in conclusion, I would say the three main gifts I received from reading Alexander Strauch’s Biblical Eldership were these. (1) Being a pastor means being a shepherd. (2) Being a pastor is weighty. (3) Being a pastor means discipling men.
